I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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