If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
