Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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