My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
