I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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