This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
