i think i have herpe
just one?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize