fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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