There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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