White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
