I just cut my nipple shaving
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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