a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
The beer is more important than you right now.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize