he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize