He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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