A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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