I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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