Sponge bath it is.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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