She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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