You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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