Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize