Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
