I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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