they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
