what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
