HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
