I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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