I faked an abortion last night.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize