I bet he comes in French.
false alarm. still invincible.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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