I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
