I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
