when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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