I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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