just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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