My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
