No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
