I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
