what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
