I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
