Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I checked into jail on foursquare
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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