Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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