O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
