you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
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