I must be too annoying 4 u.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
