i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
