Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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