you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
