My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
