Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
