you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
