I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize