Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I enjoy the company of your penis
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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