Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Randomize