were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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