Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
