You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
