There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
