Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
